Oh Hey 27, Thanks For Making Me Feel Like An Adult (Finally)
It's taken me a few months to write this considering it's October and I turned 27 on August 1st. I guess I've been feeling some sort of way about this whole turning older thing. You know when your birthday passes and people ask you, "so do you feel older?" and you say, "no, not really." Well this year, I can honestly say that I feel 27.
I don't know if it's because I must have subconsciously made a mark when I was younger that by the time I was 27 years old, I would be an official "adult." I feel this heightened sense of responsibility, drive, connection with my sexuality and just an overall self-awareness of myself. I've got friends getting married left and right, and here I am stressing out about this career path of mine leaving me with barely any time to date dudes. In my mind, my focus is 99% on my career and going ape-shit on growing my brands. I want everything that comes my way to be deserved. No ifs, ands or buts. That other 1% in my mind is wondering about partnership and companionship. My internal clock is ticking but that teensy part of me wants to share and collaborate my success with a partner. I know I'm ready for another great love of my 20's, but becoming an entrepreneur has made that battle even harder. Finding someone that "just gets it" is one thing, but finding a partner that can equally join you on the paths towards successes and struggles is a whole other ball game.
I've just come back from three days at the Forbes Under 30 Summit and the people I met there were incredible. I got questions answered that only that crowd of people would be able to answer about running a business and being addicted to ambition. The struggle is real out there people. My biggest problem right now is growth. I started The Hive a year ago and it's come along way, but there's so much left to do. I'm getting emails almost daily now from ladies who want me to bring The Hive to their city.It's a crazy opportunity and I'm trying to figure out how to capitalize and grow with it.I'm also ready to hire my first employee, but I can't seem to have enough consistency with income for me to pass that risk onto an employee. If you have answers - I'd love to know.
Maybe a year from now I'll look at this post and giggle because I'll have ended up figuring everything out. That's the best case scenario. The worst case scenario is that I end up in a looney bin from all the stress or living in my home with a million cats. Please stop me if you see me headed in that direction.
I just got this text from a dear friend who's moving to Florida to pursue his career (if you're reading this, don't move Alex!! tear). He texted me "You really are an incredible person. You possess a light that shines. Just hold fast and keep WORKING hard. Don't let any failure or obstacle blow out that light." It was exactly what I needed to hear as I sit in the basement of The Hive working on a million things. I'm planning on staying here till the sun goes down, but reminders from friends looking in on the inside is what motivates me. It reminds me that I'm making a difference, and people are noticing. The hustle may drain my soul and get me feeling inferior or not good enough, but the fight for something I can call my own, or my own empire and legacy, will be all worth it.
26 was a fun year. I fell out of love, I fell in love, I updated my priorities, I put intentions out into the universe, I started a business, and I became known. I wouldn't change a thing because I was made for this life. 27 will be full of more ups, more wins, more authentic relationships, more self-realizations about myself and my limits, more stamps in my passport and more milestones. I may be late on rent this month and I may have a few pennies in my name, but I'm going to keep working on building a future for myself. To those of you who are watching all of this through social media and reaching out to me - thank you. I may not always respond but your random emails and messages make me smile.
Oh yeah, and thanks to Cheyenne Gil for the photo. She did an amazing job because I look half-decent ha.