The Inevitable

I fear the death of my loved ones. I have such a close and small family, that I fear anything ever happening to them. But I realized today that death is inevitable. No one will live forever. It's just a clock ticking away. Or the 3 Fates waiting for the moment they can cut that last string of life. I can't deal with leaving things to the powers that be. I hate the idea that anything can happen at any time. I love living life spontaneously, but I hate knowing that death is just as spontaneous. Sometimes I think about my reactions for when people I love pass away. What will I do first? How will I react? Will I be the same person after? I don't even want to imagine details because it's just too depressing. The thing with me is that I have a problem with expressing emotions sometimes. It's not easy for me to show sympathy, empathy or even sadness. I usually have a smile on my face. Thinking about losing those I cherish around me turns my smile into a frown, but I guess I can't live in fear everyday. New Year's Resolution: Spend more time with my family and appreciate them more. Communication is key. And lots of plane tickets. Bingo.