Why I love my dad

He writes things like this regarding the mystery animals eating his vegetables in his garden:

"Daddy: I have to take shower, now. I saw one really FAT FAT groundhog, today. It is FAT because it is eating my vegetables. It looked at me and then try to get into the garden. But stupid animal..... I put the pine limbs around the garden. I was watching what it is going to do. It tried to cut through the net but was scratched by the pine needles. It was thinking what to do.... Hahahahahahah... I think I beat it."